you turned your livingroom into a bong?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
