apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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