I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
your room smells of hookers.
And success
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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