The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
