I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
