He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
