How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
