I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
