His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
