We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
