it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
