I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
