I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
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We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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