I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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