Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
