I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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