i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
