I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
