I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
