I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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