Porn is love you can see.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
