if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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