we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
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I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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