Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
