walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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