I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
