just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
