So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
