Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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