I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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