so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
