Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
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You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
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So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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