I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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