remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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