Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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