whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
They took my balls.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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