so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
