why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
