your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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