exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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