yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
