Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize