Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
