How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
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She's not a foreskin expert like you
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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