the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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