How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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