if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
