You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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