So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
