Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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