no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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