people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
People with herpes should wear stickers.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
