Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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