pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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