K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
