i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
honey bunches of taint.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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