In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize