We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
