Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
