well I can't set my house on fire every night
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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