Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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