all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
