I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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